Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
