what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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