Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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