I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize