never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
