between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
