I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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