In the future we'll all be gay
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
