brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
