I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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