I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
