2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
