alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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