i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
