He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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