I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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