Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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