Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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