I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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