When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize