My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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