so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
