Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I need a beard to bite.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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