omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
