"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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