what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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