I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
