Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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