I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
