More tranny stories later!
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
