You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
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