His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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