Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
