dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
