So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
