I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
