you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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