and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize