It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
