he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize