Who wears a wallet chain?!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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