halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
