So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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