The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
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she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
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Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
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