Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
