I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
