i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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