and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
