just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
