I want to walk on stilts...naked
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
