Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
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It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
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So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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