New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
So many bounce houses so little time
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize