$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm like, not good at living.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
