Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
