First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
