Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
