Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
