Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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