what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
