Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
