Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Its about making memories worth repressing
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
