It's like God shit irony all over that family
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
