Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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