I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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