my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
