"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
