Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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