you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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