Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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